Caregivers often find themselves unable to voice their needs and communicate with family members. Many sensitive issues are always popping up. How do I talk to mom about long term care options? When do you discuss with your dad that it might be time to give up the car keys? What happens when other siblings or family members just aren’t able to provide the same level of support as you? When you’re a family caregiver the list of issues and questions can seem endless.

Best thing to do? Be brutally honest; with yourself, family members and the person you’re caring for.  Being direct with all people involved is important and will clearly state your expectations. As a caregiver try sitting down with siblings or other family members to come up with a plan. Instead of saying you need help in general, be specific.

Delegate responsibilities such as ongoing set times to come and spend time with the loved one that needs care. Arrange for a family member to pick up prescriptions and groceries regularly. If a family member lives out of town ask if they may be able to assist with online bill paying to help relieve you of financial stress. If sitting down together isn’t an option, write an email or have a conversation over the phone.

Having difficult conversations and asking for help may seem overwhelming, but remember that taking care of yourself is just as important as the needs of your loved one. Realize your own limits and accept that it’s ok to ask for help. By communicating your own needs you’re essentially making yourself a better caregiver.

Don’t forget about community resources; reach out to your local elder services and council on aging.  Ask questions on how you and your loved one may benefit from services. As a caregiver know that there is always support and help within reach. By working as a team and distributing responsibilities you will be able to enjoy your role as a caregiver as well have the much needed time to care for yourself.

Nicole Caso is a Caregiver Specialist & Transition Social Worker at South Shore Elder Services.

Posted in Voices