It’s the Conversation that matters!

 It has now been 40 years since the very first Hospice opened in the United States.  We have advanced in many ways since those early days.  Patients and families have increased access to hospice services and there are many options to keep loved ones at home as they face dying. Hospice providers have more choices available to mitigate pain and suffering in the home.  We now have better pain medications and treatment options that can easily relieve many distressful symptoms and prevent most unnecessary hospitalizations.  We can provide care and support for this difficult time.

 However, despite all of the advancements, one of the most basic interventions has been lagging in the last ½ century.  That is to have the “Conversation”.  Physicians and caregivers need to be willing and open to honestly discuss realistic goals and the wishes of someone who is ill.  All adults, but especially those with advanced illness need to be encouraged to share with family and friends what really matters to them before they are incapacitated.   When a crisis arises and the hard choices have been discussed in the “Conversation”, everyone is able to stay focused on the most important things…the wishes of the person.  We understand that having the “Conversation” brings up our deepest fears but discussing them in advance leaves everyone relieved in the end. 

 Without these “Conversations,” spouses, adult children and friends are often left burdened with treatment decisions that may be futile.  However, for many caregivers, to forgo a treatment choice would feel like failure and no one left behind wants to feel like they gave up too soon.  Knowing what is important to a loved one who is ill makes treatment choices easier.  Eventually all of us have to say goodbye. Sharing what we want with our families can only make our own goodbye more natural and peaceful in the end.

 Brenda Karkos is the Hospice Director, Hospice of the South Shore.

 

Posted in Voices